Active Timelines

Major League Soccer

The MLS Cup

Team First Title Most Recent Title Total Titles Timeline Ends After
Columbus Crew SC 2008 2023 3 2030
Los Angeles FC 2022 2022 1 2027
Los Angeles Galaxy 2002 2014 5 2027
New York City FC 2021 2021 1 2026
Seattle Sounders 2016 2019 2 2026

The Laws of the No Whine Timeline

The First Law of the No Whine Timeline
Upon winning the championship of their sport, no team's fans may whine, bitch and moan, grouse, grumble, or otherwise complain about said team, the team's performance, on- or off-the-field personnel, etc., for the five succeeding seasons.
The Second Law of the No Whine Timeline (the Dynasty Corollary)
If, during the time the No Whine Timeline is in effect for any team, that team wins their championship, an additional five seasons of the No Whine Timeline are added to the end of the current Timeline.
The Third Law of the No Whine Timeline (the Montreal Exception)
If twenty (20) consecutive seasons pass without a team winning their championship, then their Timeline ends, regardless of the effects of the Second Law.
The Fourth Law of the No Whine Timeline (the World Cup Rule)
For championships that are won less frequently than every year, all lengths-of-time of the No Whine Timeline are multiplied by the number of years between championships.
The Fifth Law of the No Whine Timeline (the First Amendment)
The First Law is hereby amended with the following: For the duration of any team's No Whine Timeline, no fan of that team may whine, bitch and moan, grouse, grumble or otherwise complain about any of the following entities, with regards to how their words or actions relate to the team: referees, players/coaches/personnel from other teams, league Commissioners, TV and radio personalities, sportswriters, sportscasters, bloggers, reporters, podcasters, internet commenters, or ranting crazy people on subways or any other form of public transportation.